Did any of you that are down low or discreet
ever have a close call while you were
at a gay venue, with gay friends Boyfriend ect? I had a back to back run in's with people i know that are somali from my community,I was with my blk boyfriend coming out of a gay club when 2 somali guys walking out front approached me, and asked me why i was coming out of a gay club i just brushed them off and said i was there for a drink special lol, Then 2 days later in the same area "uptown" 2 other somalis saw me holding my boyfriend by the waist and started following us and i told them to fuck off and continued walking away.I am expecting them to put the word out about what they saw and tell people am gay ect...Anyone have advice on how to deal
with any potential fall out?

dear if u think that their words cann't coz any problems to ur life like family issues then jus show dem da middle finger coz their the reason why stupid is inda dictionery.. anyway jus be who u r and nevermind on wat others say .. thats only if it doesnt bring family issues.. otherwise jus tell dem ur damn hi and drunk so u didnt notice wats was going on .. and jus add sum sence like the girls was damn hot blah blah ... jus like u didnt notice wat was going on ... thats all i can say ...

The only thing I am worried about is the impact your outing will have on the relationship between you and your family. If you live with your parents and fear that they never accept your sexaulity, and as a result you don't want them to know the truth, then in the event of them discovering your whereabouts, just say to them that some of your friends are gay. Say to them that you accept your 'gay friends' for who they are, and that you will continue to go with them to their chosen venues. After that, as mr kamal said, give the middle finger to the rest of the world.

closest i've come is people walking in when i'm watching blue movies on the laptop and my it scares the shit out of me so i cant imagine what your going through. I would say don't do anything rash and just stay calm and do some strategic thinking and if your not ready to come out, don't.
Hello everyone by the way i'm new

Happens to me ALL THE TIME. And I'm not out. Thankfully, I don't live at home anymore, so I don't have to worry whether I will be made homeless without warning.

I would say to you, be prepared. You cannot guess what your family's reaction to this might be, or who might tell them, or what they might say. Make sure you have somewhere safe to stay if you need to go in a hurry. Put all your important documents, a few toiletries, and a couple of changes of clothing in an overnight bag, and stuff it somewhere, in case you ever need to get out in a hurry, then you won't need to flail around.

Make sure you have a job so you can support and feed yourself if you eventually need to rent a room or something.

You need to understand that secrets don't stay secret for very long, especially in the Somali community. Somebody always sees something. Have your wits about you and be prepared. If I were you, I would not mess around while I were still living at home. Yes, they are your family and they are supposed to love you, but you can never estimate what a person's reaction might be when it comes to shocking news, especially on a taboo subject like this.

Myself, when this sort of thing has happened. I ignore them, pretend I didn't hear or see them speak to me, and move on, maybe they will convince themselves it was somebody who just looked like you. I look down, face facing the ground, so that they cannot get a clear view of my face.

I have learned that these kind of encounters cannot be avoided, unless you want to move to a city where nobody knows you. I have also learned to avoid all public displays of affection, you just never know who's around, best not to take the risk.

Hope that helps a little!

HeyGingerBoy,
Firstly, I just want to say ignore those idiots and when you see them don’t waste any of your energy on them. It doesn’t happen to me that often anymore but I used to get Somali men harassing me all of the time when I’m out&about with my friends. Calling me all kinds of names, I had this rule where I would look at them for a second, carry on walking, and blank them. My philosophy is that never retaliate such stupidity...Fish without water cannot be and little discourteous individuals always evaporate back to their caves.

If someone says something about your sexuality and it goes back to your loved ones, here is my advice to you deny, deny, and deny everything. I think most families are more worried of what might be said about them in the wider community, and in turn they react badly when they find out. My family were very intimidating, aggressive. Even though different folks will treat matters differently, you never know how they’ll react and the best thing is to avoid anything that might jeopardise your relationship with them. We are long way away from our homeland and despite of their ignorance to our sexual preferences, one still needs family support. Believe me; I’ve learned that the hard way. Take good care mate

You have good advice guys!! Welcome Madmax.

Thanks to every single one of you for
your great advice! It put me at ease
I dont really take risks such as public displays of affection but i was a little
high and drunk at the moment...Denial was
my 1st think in mind and also being that i was
drunk could also say i was holding my "drunk" friend up You were all very helpfully and once again thanks for all the support!

Lol i just read this topic and just thought i should add to it. (yes i know its old and forgotten, but i'm bored)

Well ginger boy, denial is not just a river in egypt. works wonders bro!

Lol, as for close encounters...

Well my uncle is a taxi driver in central london, and one time a girl had me up against the wall outside a club, and i coulda sworn it was him that saw me, if not there were 10 other somali guys looking like their eyes were about to pop out.

Another one, my mum was about to walk in to me and my ex doing it, luckily the door was blocked.

Another time, my little baby cousin did walk in on me and my ex. and just as my aunty was about to walk in we dived beneath the covers.

Etc, etc, etc, i had a lot of those close calls and actuall run ins

Lol, but wierdest i have to say till now. is when my mum decided to get a spy on me. and my ex at the time was visiting me. however my mum told me the spy relaid me drinking, smoking and walking around half naked, but i could have sworn he seen me and my girl then making out outside, for the whole world to see. lol

But i have a feeling mummy knows this but just aint willing to out me to herself, lol

lady love

you are a somthing else girl sounds
like you like to play cat and mouse

nice story though 4 us guys we cant take so
many risks the guy i was caught with is
my boyfriend n its been a while since i was
head over heals 4 sum one and i was tippsy
thank god its been 3 weeks since then nothing
has been said to my knowledge