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a choice? Print E-mail
Posted by britneyshay   
To all my oppressors and ignorant neighbors, you ask me why I choose this.
You ask me why I want to do something wrong intentionally.
You do not ask IF it is a choice but you tell me it is.
How can you tell me who I am when you have not walked my path nor have you worn my shoes.
Then you try to justify it by using my faith against me.
That book states my fate, so therefore I am condemned. I beg to differ.

My GOD did not take pen and parchment into his hand.
My GOD did not put words onto those pages.
My GOD has never told me I am wrong, only you have.
I laugh in the face of mere mortals who claim to know the answers.
Nobody knows the answers but GOD himself.

Do you really thing an all powerful omnicient being would let me be this way if he had not wanted me to.
I am uncertain of your emotions but this seems a bit hypocritical in my opinion.
If GOD had not wanted me to be this way, then I would not be.
But I am so how do you claim I am against GOD?

The only choice I have is to love or to lone.
Do you choose who you love? No, of course not!
It is impossible to force love,
and doing so only leads to regret and lonliness.
Only the heart knows its counterpart and only the soul knows its mate.
Love is unexplainable.

It draws us to people we least expect but the beauty of its perfection is inevitable.
I wish for anything it were a choice.
I wish it was that easy.

I’ve been a prisoner in my own body for years.
I’ve spent 3 years of my adolescence trying to shake the feelings that overwhelmed me.
I wanted to die rather than be hated and I have scars to prove that.
I tried to be another person but I couldn’t.
Death would have been my only escape besides accepting it.
After a long battle fought, I realized that this is who I am.
All I could do was know that for some reason I was not meant to be like my fellow women.

When I began to accept it, it eased my pain.
I felt free and alive for the first time.
All I ask is for equality.
I just want to be like the rest of you but since I am not,
I at least would like to be treated the same.
I want you to know that I love just as you love.

We all love different people.
Somebody chooses to be with someone who makes them happy and whole.
They did not choose to love them, they chose to accept that love.
That is all I did.

Yes it is true that I can "choose" to find someone else but why would I waste my days searching for something in a man that I’ve already found in a woman.
The gender does not matter.
If my heart says it is so, then it is so.
I know that my life will be hard.
I know my family will have many obstacles but we all have our issues. We will ovecome.

I will sieze this day and live my life condemed and free rather than die alone in lies and misery.


B.C Jones 4/3/08

britneyshay
a choice?
Quote this article on your site

Comments (1)
1. 09-10-2009 21:48
 
aww this is beautifull and so true. 
good job
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